I was just watching Clean House, but then wanted to turn it off because I rarely like to watch TV. I feel it's a waste of time, for me personally. Anywho, before I turned it off I thought of us, human beings, as though houses. God comes to our rescue, becomes the One who will clean us and try to organize the mess we are. That's beautiful to me...
When I was flipping channels this morning I came across Joyce Meyers talking about being a prisoner of hope. Zechariah 9:12 says 'Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double.' How amazing it is for me to realize that God wants me to be a prisoner of hope, fully immersed in hoping about what He can do. And that he will give me DOUBLE as I've been waiting and experiencing hardships. Oh what the Lord desires us to know... all in His Word.
I leave for Bolivia in five days. WHAT?! I will be in another country... with a language barrier... in a business week. That pretty much blows my mind. I am beyond excited to see these kids and experience God in a new way there. I found out this past Thursday that we are going to be singing around a bonfire with them, and I think it's the first night we get there!!!! We're also going to seeing the Incan ruins and waterfalls. These people are going to show us around and I'm sure that my eyes will be opened to many many things. I'm so excited for what the Lord will work in each of us and teach every one of us. It's going to be a wild and great experience... Our team verse is Proverbs 31:8,9 which says 'Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.' I'm really going to be in prayer about this as we get ready for our departure... I am more than glad to be a servant to these people, to step out of myself and deeper into Christ.. that's where I truly find myself. (C.S. Lewis has spurred this idea for me and he's a genius for doing so) and I am so ready to just love.. for Christ to shine so brightly to these children that the language barrier can be set aside and they can just feel LOVED and hopeful.
I'm really hoping this posts because if not there's no way to copy and paste it and it will break my heart...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
you have given me more than i could ever have wanted
That lyric, that prayer, stands so true in my life. In reality, it can stand true in many of ours. We sang that last night at youth group as we lifted our voices to our Creator together, as His Bride, as His Church, as His people. It was beautiful. That lyric moved in me; God has truly truly given me more than I could ever have wanted: beautiful and amazing best friends who are constantly there for me and build me up; a clothing line that will be for His glory, allowing my friend & I to serve Him to the fullest through our passions and gifts; the bold desire to not attend college but chase after Him as I feel called to do; a roof above my head, clothing for my body, and daily meals; the ability to travel to Africa, London (for six hours, ha) and now Bolivia, and other places around the U.S. It has been a beautiful walk with the Lord and I'm excited to see Him do even more.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
white as snow
I tried writing this post yesterday, but there was an error and it therefore deleted my post altogether. I felt that God may have wanted me to dive deeper into the vulnerability of my post though.
I was struggling the other day, and God has really shown me that he forgives to such an extent that makes me blemish-free. I was upset at myself and I decided to dive into Psalm 51 and listen to 'White As Snow' by Jon Foreman. The song goes hand in hand with the psalm. It really did speak to me. The way that the emotion was seeping to God through that psalm was the emotions I felt; it couldn't have been better. Then I stumbled upon Psalm 55:18 which says 'He rescues my soul in safety from the battle that I wage' - it reminded me that I am waging a war against myself but with God's strength within me I could let go of the battle and freely live in Him. It was a beautiful verse that I have now fallen in love with.
Humility was a huge thing that came up. I humbled myself to my best friend and good results sprung forth. We are continuing to grow in vulnerability and authenticity, it's an awesome thing.
She is going to Dallas, Texas today! I am so excited! She is going to a huge fashion show; a couple at her church invited her and are taking her because they believe in our passion and dream. It's such a sweet opportunity for our line and our eyes to be open to the fashion industry more. :) I am sooooo pumped to see what God does within the two days she is there.
My graduation party is today. I'm quite pumped for it. I was thinking of displaying poetry I've written but I'm not sure. Hm. I just might! That's new for me because I'm usually not too open with it. But I am ready, willing and able to share the gift that God has given me with words. Oh, lovely!
Colossians 4:5-6 is such a great encourager with faith. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
I was struggling the other day, and God has really shown me that he forgives to such an extent that makes me blemish-free. I was upset at myself and I decided to dive into Psalm 51 and listen to 'White As Snow' by Jon Foreman. The song goes hand in hand with the psalm. It really did speak to me. The way that the emotion was seeping to God through that psalm was the emotions I felt; it couldn't have been better. Then I stumbled upon Psalm 55:18 which says 'He rescues my soul in safety from the battle that I wage' - it reminded me that I am waging a war against myself but with God's strength within me I could let go of the battle and freely live in Him. It was a beautiful verse that I have now fallen in love with.
Humility was a huge thing that came up. I humbled myself to my best friend and good results sprung forth. We are continuing to grow in vulnerability and authenticity, it's an awesome thing.
She is going to Dallas, Texas today! I am so excited! She is going to a huge fashion show; a couple at her church invited her and are taking her because they believe in our passion and dream. It's such a sweet opportunity for our line and our eyes to be open to the fashion industry more. :) I am sooooo pumped to see what God does within the two days she is there.
My graduation party is today. I'm quite pumped for it. I was thinking of displaying poetry I've written but I'm not sure. Hm. I just might! That's new for me because I'm usually not too open with it. But I am ready, willing and able to share the gift that God has given me with words. Oh, lovely!
Colossians 4:5-6 is such a great encourager with faith. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
Monday, May 25, 2009
relate
I am extremely blown away by relationships, by God's heart for people and the way that he made us for relationships, in His image. I'm embracing what it is to be human, to have compassion and love, to build meaningful and intentional relationships that only God has wanted us to construct. He gives us this beautiful ability to CREATE relationships because he is the Creator.
Today I met with a friend, Chelsea, and we had coffee. Except it lasted three hours. We talked and shared and were honest and opened and related. I know that our hearts are bent towards God, allowing him to shine and work and move in the deepest places, not just surface level. It was awesome to meet up, get to know a new friend, and just be real. I'm sure a lovely friendship will come of it :) I'm excited to continue to see God move in ways such as these. I'm glad I found someone to entirely relate to on the level of journaling, writing, conversating.
It's a beautiful sunny day in Orlando. Finally without rain, pure shine. It's incredibly weird to realize that I do not have to return to school again; I'm done. I feel like I have SO much time, because I do, and it's crazy. I like it though. It'll take getting used to. I have free time to write and talk and breathe and just be in the silence or wonder with God. He can swirl around me in the entirety I've been longing for. It's freeing and fulfilling and a breath of fresh air.
God, come reign in every aspect of my life. Fill me up with you. Break me. Mold me. Love me. Do what you will. That is my prayer.
Today I met with a friend, Chelsea, and we had coffee. Except it lasted three hours. We talked and shared and were honest and opened and related. I know that our hearts are bent towards God, allowing him to shine and work and move in the deepest places, not just surface level. It was awesome to meet up, get to know a new friend, and just be real. I'm sure a lovely friendship will come of it :) I'm excited to continue to see God move in ways such as these. I'm glad I found someone to entirely relate to on the level of journaling, writing, conversating.
It's a beautiful sunny day in Orlando. Finally without rain, pure shine. It's incredibly weird to realize that I do not have to return to school again; I'm done. I feel like I have SO much time, because I do, and it's crazy. I like it though. It'll take getting used to. I have free time to write and talk and breathe and just be in the silence or wonder with God. He can swirl around me in the entirety I've been longing for. It's freeing and fulfilling and a breath of fresh air.
God, come reign in every aspect of my life. Fill me up with you. Break me. Mold me. Love me. Do what you will. That is my prayer.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
blessing
I've been blessed with my Element family. With the people who are home to me, who live to love and serve and laugh and live as Jesus intends us to. We're all on a path to figure it out. It blows my mind; that God has placed me within a community of people who I believe would lay down their life for the next person in line. I am forever grateful for this blessing, privilege, family. Tonight we gathered at house church. We've been honored to have a friend of the Schillers in town; his name is Ryan. He led us in worship through song and shared a piece of what God's opening his eyes to. Tonight was incredible, as every Sunday I can honestly say is. It's been amazing to share life together.
I am very close with my younger cousin Arianna. I'm so happy that we've become basically inseparable although we are five years apart. I've been able to pour into her life and she's been able to teach me still through her pain or wonder. Our friendship has been a great journey and I'm sure it will continue to be. We have this tradition that we started to run down my street basically chasing the sunset. As we sat in my kitchen tonight and saw the sky I said "Wanna go eat our mashed potatoes in the rain to look at the sky real fast?" So we did. And it was beyond what words could describe. So we followed tradition and ran down the street and the orange that fell across the sky was spectacular. The sky reminded me that God as Light overcomes the darkness. It overcomes the gloomy clouds that have been over Orlando for the past week.
God blows my mind, the marvelous wonders he creates. He expresses his beauty and majesty in ways that only the best Artist ever could.
I am very close with my younger cousin Arianna. I'm so happy that we've become basically inseparable although we are five years apart. I've been able to pour into her life and she's been able to teach me still through her pain or wonder. Our friendship has been a great journey and I'm sure it will continue to be. We have this tradition that we started to run down my street basically chasing the sunset. As we sat in my kitchen tonight and saw the sky I said "Wanna go eat our mashed potatoes in the rain to look at the sky real fast?" So we did. And it was beyond what words could describe. So we followed tradition and ran down the street and the orange that fell across the sky was spectacular. The sky reminded me that God as Light overcomes the darkness. It overcomes the gloomy clouds that have been over Orlando for the past week.
God blows my mind, the marvelous wonders he creates. He expresses his beauty and majesty in ways that only the best Artist ever could.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Bananas
I have a silly story, but I like it :)
My cousin and I were at Coldstone yesterday. I got the Birthday Cake Remix (and asked for bananas too!) and she got Cheesecake Fantasy. We paid and sat down to enjoy the wonderful icecream. Turns out, no bananas. But EVERY bite I was for some reason hopeful that their would be banana there. I think the girl was new, so she just forgot. No biggie. I was telling my cousin though, that we'll be hopeful for God and he will never forget the bananas in your life. Haha. It's silly, but sweet to really think about. Made me happy. And I shared the story at bible study with the middle schoolers. One of the middle schoolers, Victoria, said that she was thinking about God and thinks he is like a balloon because we can throw darts at him but he'll never pop. It's so awesome to know that no matter what problem, mess, "dart" we throw at God, he'll just bounce back with an answer and never pop. :)
I broke my blowdryer this morning. I guess maybe it's a good thing because I wouldn't have written this if it was still working. Ohhh, the humurous and interesting plans God has.
It's been raining for a couple days now; that's all I've been accompanied by. I've heard God through this rainy weather alot. I love to hear the music he plays as the rain plinks off of gutters, tables, the ground, the trees, the roof. It's beautiful music. My friend said that it's heard world-wide, it's music residing from the maker. True and amazing.
I wrote this two days ago while journaling:
Thunderstorms remind me of whose the one with the control. All we [as humans] can do is predict weather and let it unfold like it desires, just like God made it. In the midst of a thunderstorm, here I am, unable to stop or control it in the least. God's hands are the conductors. He is the one who does it all.
It blows my mind that we play creator in situations, yet we fail to fix our eyes upon the one who does it ALL. We may think we can create, or fix, or help, or love. But he does all of it at once, because it's his whole being, he is the embodiment of GOOD.
Have a lovely day, rain or shine or snow or anything. It's a day the Lord has fashioned regardless.
My cousin and I were at Coldstone yesterday. I got the Birthday Cake Remix (and asked for bananas too!) and she got Cheesecake Fantasy. We paid and sat down to enjoy the wonderful icecream. Turns out, no bananas. But EVERY bite I was for some reason hopeful that their would be banana there. I think the girl was new, so she just forgot. No biggie. I was telling my cousin though, that we'll be hopeful for God and he will never forget the bananas in your life. Haha. It's silly, but sweet to really think about. Made me happy. And I shared the story at bible study with the middle schoolers. One of the middle schoolers, Victoria, said that she was thinking about God and thinks he is like a balloon because we can throw darts at him but he'll never pop. It's so awesome to know that no matter what problem, mess, "dart" we throw at God, he'll just bounce back with an answer and never pop. :)
I broke my blowdryer this morning. I guess maybe it's a good thing because I wouldn't have written this if it was still working. Ohhh, the humurous and interesting plans God has.
It's been raining for a couple days now; that's all I've been accompanied by. I've heard God through this rainy weather alot. I love to hear the music he plays as the rain plinks off of gutters, tables, the ground, the trees, the roof. It's beautiful music. My friend said that it's heard world-wide, it's music residing from the maker. True and amazing.
I wrote this two days ago while journaling:
Thunderstorms remind me of whose the one with the control. All we [as humans] can do is predict weather and let it unfold like it desires, just like God made it. In the midst of a thunderstorm, here I am, unable to stop or control it in the least. God's hands are the conductors. He is the one who does it all.
It blows my mind that we play creator in situations, yet we fail to fix our eyes upon the one who does it ALL. We may think we can create, or fix, or help, or love. But he does all of it at once, because it's his whole being, he is the embodiment of GOOD.
Have a lovely day, rain or shine or snow or anything. It's a day the Lord has fashioned regardless.
Monday, May 18, 2009
suffering
I wrote this after I read an article about prostitutes in India. An estimated 40% are children. These thoughts trampled through my mind:
I realize that through numbers.. or through anything, we try to make it not sound as bad. “Oh, well at least it isn’t this” but God’s heart ACHES for even one child displaced, captive, oppressed, poor, broken, lost. ONE CHILD, ONE PERSON, ONE BEING. He aches for even them. So to say it isn’t that bad… is insane almost. Even one person suffering is bad. Because humanity groans and aches in ways that some of us cannot comprehend. But others do. Every day of their lives. And it’s our role to fight the battle for them, to overcome this evil with love, to express sympathy against the apathy. We need to let the image of God run through our veins and souls and entire beings, we need to set the image of God ablaze inside of the sacred temples that we are and we need to reach out our hand and heart to those in dire need of hope.
I realize that through numbers.. or through anything, we try to make it not sound as bad. “Oh, well at least it isn’t this” but God’s heart ACHES for even one child displaced, captive, oppressed, poor, broken, lost. ONE CHILD, ONE PERSON, ONE BEING. He aches for even them. So to say it isn’t that bad… is insane almost. Even one person suffering is bad. Because humanity groans and aches in ways that some of us cannot comprehend. But others do. Every day of their lives. And it’s our role to fight the battle for them, to overcome this evil with love, to express sympathy against the apathy. We need to let the image of God run through our veins and souls and entire beings, we need to set the image of God ablaze inside of the sacred temples that we are and we need to reach out our hand and heart to those in dire need of hope.
today will be a great day
As I was reading Cold Tangerines it was blowing my mind that we are sometimes unthankful for the life we have been given, yet we have a God who designed us each differently, who gracefully extended the gift of life in a differently beautiful way for each of us. We can be upset about our life, or we can embrace the person who God has made us to be. There is no one else like us; God solely designed me to be me, and that's all. How amazing it would be if we each lived in that, if we let it move in the deepest part of our soul.
A verse from second Timothy has been replaying in my head over and over lately. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." (2 Timothy 4:5) Maybe it's stuck out because I've questioned if I am fulfilling my ministry. But I'm glad it's been stuck in my head because it reminds me that it is my role in God's story to fulfill my ministry in whichever way He needs me to. That's huge to me.
On another note, as it's been raining alot here, I've been loving it. I love the way the rain falls against cars and the ground because it is one of the most beautiful sounds, music of the earth that God alone created. There's something incredibly refreshing to me when the rain stops and everything is dripping from the water that just cleansed it in a way. It makes me extremely happy. It just feels so free and fresh. Although it's gray when it rains, it's still so beautiful. It's apart of the seasons of the world. I'm going to go watch the rain, maybe play in it, and write. Today is going to be a great day, the Lord fashioned it :)
A verse from second Timothy has been replaying in my head over and over lately. As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." (2 Timothy 4:5) Maybe it's stuck out because I've questioned if I am fulfilling my ministry. But I'm glad it's been stuck in my head because it reminds me that it is my role in God's story to fulfill my ministry in whichever way He needs me to. That's huge to me.
On another note, as it's been raining alot here, I've been loving it. I love the way the rain falls against cars and the ground because it is one of the most beautiful sounds, music of the earth that God alone created. There's something incredibly refreshing to me when the rain stops and everything is dripping from the water that just cleansed it in a way. It makes me extremely happy. It just feels so free and fresh. Although it's gray when it rains, it's still so beautiful. It's apart of the seasons of the world. I'm going to go watch the rain, maybe play in it, and write. Today is going to be a great day, the Lord fashioned it :)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Provision.
Good afternoon! It definitely is good. From my last post, most of you know I've been struggling with worrying about my funds for Bolivia. Well let me tell you that God is shining and working and it's incredible! This morning my friend Kaity told me that she is donating $500 to my trip. HOW AMAZING! She saw my letter posted on Facebook and ever since she has been praying about it. It's one thing to hear stories of provision, but for God to do it in your own life is truly awe-inspiring. I am joyful and amazed and tremendously thankful. Kaity is a lovely friend of mine and it's so huge to me! Oh, what the Lord can do. I think it's really interesting how God worked in an underground way because I had no idea Kaity had actually read my support letter. Wow... that's really what I can say to this great work of art God's placed before me. Just WOW.
Tonight there's in-house/house church. My friend is getting baptized :) I'm so excited. We're going to talk about baptism, hear his story, and hang out. Only God knows if others will be moved to be baptized and dedicate their life to Him... I'm so excited to see what unfolds tonight. We're going to watch the Magic game together and have waffles! Mmm. We have really become a family and it's such a warm feeling. It's great to know that the youth surrounding me will have my back through anything. Truly captivating... These Sundays have become a highlight of my week for sure.
James 3 is amazing. I suggest reading it. What we say, with our small tongue, can do damage big time. It's so key to be careful. I was reading Hebrews last night and it is moving.. It is real and amazing to understand who Jesus is in the way of a great high priest. There is none like him. And it's been filling my heart so much.
God bless.
Tonight there's in-house/house church. My friend is getting baptized :) I'm so excited. We're going to talk about baptism, hear his story, and hang out. Only God knows if others will be moved to be baptized and dedicate their life to Him... I'm so excited to see what unfolds tonight. We're going to watch the Magic game together and have waffles! Mmm. We have really become a family and it's such a warm feeling. It's great to know that the youth surrounding me will have my back through anything. Truly captivating... These Sundays have become a highlight of my week for sure.
James 3 is amazing. I suggest reading it. What we say, with our small tongue, can do damage big time. It's so key to be careful. I was reading Hebrews last night and it is moving.. It is real and amazing to understand who Jesus is in the way of a great high priest. There is none like him. And it's been filling my heart so much.
God bless.
Friday, May 15, 2009
a start, and an entry on trust
My name is Dawn. This is a place to send my thoughts out into the lives of others. God has made me a writer and I can say that with passion. This will just be a place to share my writings and experiences with people, release the thoughts that jumble inside of my brain.
I'm in the process of pursuing a clothing line with my best friend Rachelle. She also has a blog. We decided to step into our own blogs and share our walks with God with others. I am beyond excited for the serving to come through the clothing line; God is stirring up alot of dreams and joy already.
I am going on a mission trip to Bolivia for two weeks in June. For the past week I have been trying not to worry about the finances, because I know full well that God can provide; I've heard stories and he has provided for me as well. However, in two weeks I had to raise $890 - that payment is due today - and I am far from it. It's been stressing me out on the inside, but I've been constantly giving that to the Lord. This morning I was crying to God, feeling so useless and helpless, because I don't have the finances to pay for myself and that's extremely clear. I know that God provides, but it's a scary thing as a human being to not have any contribution to the cause. Throughout the day I was processing these thoughts. We are ALL God's instruments; he uses us to fulfill his work here on earth. I felt like I wasn't an instrument throughout this, I couldn't be taking some part in the performance he is putting together. However, God spoke to me. He made me realize that by putting my faith in him, trusting in him, leaning on him for provision whether it be money or just paving the pathway of another step, that was being an instrument. I was showing others that I don't have control, but he does. It was beautiful to me...
Turns out, my cousin did remember to donate to me so she will be today. It made me smile.
God is paving the pathway before us although he already knows every outcome and every detail of every situation we are apart of. Thankfully, he has a plan for me in this Bolivia team. If I am supposed to go, I will - there is no doubt about that with God. I encourage you to realize that as well. God can make his will happen, regardless of the fact that it seems out of reach to us.
I've been reading Mary Oliver's poetry for the past couple days. Incredible. Oh, I just love her poems so much. One thing really caught me today. "of course the darkness keeps its appointment" - wow. That holds so much. God rises the sun and sets it every day, on appointment. He has a way of orchestrating certain things in creation that simply just is the way it is. And that's a beautiful constant of His. On another note... it just sparked something new in my mind. The darkness, coming on appointment, is like spiritual warfare. Satan will constantly try to overcome us with his darkness. Thankfully, God is Light and that overcomes all.
I'm in the process of pursuing a clothing line with my best friend Rachelle. She also has a blog. We decided to step into our own blogs and share our walks with God with others. I am beyond excited for the serving to come through the clothing line; God is stirring up alot of dreams and joy already.
I am going on a mission trip to Bolivia for two weeks in June. For the past week I have been trying not to worry about the finances, because I know full well that God can provide; I've heard stories and he has provided for me as well. However, in two weeks I had to raise $890 - that payment is due today - and I am far from it. It's been stressing me out on the inside, but I've been constantly giving that to the Lord. This morning I was crying to God, feeling so useless and helpless, because I don't have the finances to pay for myself and that's extremely clear. I know that God provides, but it's a scary thing as a human being to not have any contribution to the cause. Throughout the day I was processing these thoughts. We are ALL God's instruments; he uses us to fulfill his work here on earth. I felt like I wasn't an instrument throughout this, I couldn't be taking some part in the performance he is putting together. However, God spoke to me. He made me realize that by putting my faith in him, trusting in him, leaning on him for provision whether it be money or just paving the pathway of another step, that was being an instrument. I was showing others that I don't have control, but he does. It was beautiful to me...
Turns out, my cousin did remember to donate to me so she will be today. It made me smile.
God is paving the pathway before us although he already knows every outcome and every detail of every situation we are apart of. Thankfully, he has a plan for me in this Bolivia team. If I am supposed to go, I will - there is no doubt about that with God. I encourage you to realize that as well. God can make his will happen, regardless of the fact that it seems out of reach to us.
I've been reading Mary Oliver's poetry for the past couple days. Incredible. Oh, I just love her poems so much. One thing really caught me today. "of course the darkness keeps its appointment" - wow. That holds so much. God rises the sun and sets it every day, on appointment. He has a way of orchestrating certain things in creation that simply just is the way it is. And that's a beautiful constant of His. On another note... it just sparked something new in my mind. The darkness, coming on appointment, is like spiritual warfare. Satan will constantly try to overcome us with his darkness. Thankfully, God is Light and that overcomes all.
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