such a clutter, such a mess

I was just watching Clean House, but then wanted to turn it off because I rarely like to watch TV. I feel it's a waste of time, for me personally. Anywho, before I turned it off I thought of us, human beings, as though houses. God comes to our rescue, becomes the One who will clean us and try to organize the mess we are. That's beautiful to me...

When I was flipping channels this morning I came across Joyce Meyers talking about being a prisoner of hope. Zechariah 9:12 says 'Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double.' How amazing it is for me to realize that God wants me to be a prisoner of hope, fully immersed in hoping about what He can do. And that he will give me DOUBLE as I've been waiting and experiencing hardships. Oh what the Lord desires us to know... all in His Word.

I leave for Bolivia in five days. WHAT?! I will be in another country... with a language barrier... in a business week. That pretty much blows my mind. I am beyond excited to see these kids and experience God in a new way there. I found out this past Thursday that we are going to be singing around a bonfire with them, and I think it's the first night we get there!!!! We're also going to seeing the Incan ruins and waterfalls. These people are going to show us around and I'm sure that my eyes will be opened to many many things. I'm so excited for what the Lord will work in each of us and teach every one of us. It's going to be a wild and great experience... Our team verse is Proverbs 31:8,9 which says 'Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.' I'm really going to be in prayer about this as we get ready for our departure... I am more than glad to be a servant to these people, to step out of myself and deeper into Christ.. that's where I truly find myself. (C.S. Lewis has spurred this idea for me and he's a genius for doing so) and I am so ready to just love.. for Christ to shine so brightly to these children that the language barrier can be set aside and they can just feel LOVED and hopeful.

I'm really hoping this posts because if not there's no way to copy and paste it and it will break my heart...

you have given me more than i could ever have wanted

That lyric, that prayer, stands so true in my life. In reality, it can stand true in many of ours. We sang that last night at youth group as we lifted our voices to our Creator together, as His Bride, as His Church, as His people. It was beautiful. That lyric moved in me; God has truly truly given me more than I could ever have wanted: beautiful and amazing best friends who are constantly there for me and build me up; a clothing line that will be for His glory, allowing my friend & I to serve Him to the fullest through our passions and gifts; the bold desire to not attend college but chase after Him as I feel called to do; a roof above my head, clothing for my body, and daily meals; the ability to travel to Africa, London (for six hours, ha) and now Bolivia, and other places around the U.S. It has been a beautiful walk with the Lord and I'm excited to see Him do even more.

white as snow

I tried writing this post yesterday, but there was an error and it therefore deleted my post altogether. I felt that God may have wanted me to dive deeper into the vulnerability of my post though.

I was struggling the other day, and God has really shown me that he forgives to such an extent that makes me blemish-free. I was upset at myself and I decided to dive into Psalm 51 and listen to 'White As Snow' by Jon Foreman. The song goes hand in hand with the psalm. It really did speak to me. The way that the emotion was seeping to God through that psalm was the emotions I felt; it couldn't have been better. Then I stumbled upon Psalm 55:18 which says 'He rescues my soul in safety from the battle that I wage' - it reminded me that I am waging a war against myself but with God's strength within me I could let go of the battle and freely live in Him. It was a beautiful verse that I have now fallen in love with.

Humility was a huge thing that came up. I humbled myself to my best friend and good results sprung forth. We are continuing to grow in vulnerability and authenticity, it's an awesome thing.

She is going to Dallas, Texas today! I am so excited! She is going to a huge fashion show; a couple at her church invited her and are taking her because they believe in our passion and dream. It's such a sweet opportunity for our line and our eyes to be open to the fashion industry more. :) I am sooooo pumped to see what God does within the two days she is there.

My graduation party is today. I'm quite pumped for it. I was thinking of displaying poetry I've written but I'm not sure. Hm. I just might! That's new for me because I'm usually not too open with it. But I am ready, willing and able to share the gift that God has given me with words. Oh, lovely!

Colossians 4:5-6 is such a great encourager with faith. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.